Good leaders inspire and motivate. They set vision and they rally their teams to push toward common goals. They communicate well. They coach. They mentor and encourage. This isn’t anything new. You’ve heard it all before. In fact, you could query the Internet right now and come up with a long list of diverse positive traits good leaders possess and behaviors they regularly practice.
One you may not find readily in that initial search, however, comes from the book, Leadership on the Line, written by Ronald Heifetz and Marty Linsky. In a quote often attributed to Linsky in other settings, the book advises, “Leadership is disappointing people at a rate they can absorb.”
Good leaders disappoint? Wait, did we read that right? Yes!
Let’s cut right to the chase. No matter how good you are at what you do, you will never make everyone happy. In your role, you’ll need to make decisions. You’ll need to identify patterns and encourage change and adaptation. You’ll need to offer feedback that isn’t always positive. We’re talking about tough calls – things that aren’t necessarily popular choices, but they may be the right decision for the broader success of your organization.
Great leaders don’t avoid tough decisions that may not be popular. They do, however, learn to pace the implementation of change at a rate their teams can adapt to and absorb. It’s not about overturning the apple cart in one fell swoop. It’s taking out a few bushels here and there to effect long-term change.
People don’t necessarily fear change. What we’re really referring to when we repeat that common phrase is grief. Change requires a measure of loss. The way we’ve always done something may not be working for us anymore, but it’s comfortable. It’s safe. It feels right because it’s what we know.
When we press for change – to give something up, change the routines, add something new in – the people involved will give up the comfort of the familiar. They’ll give up responsibility for a task that is no longer needed. They’ll give up a sense of security. Their pushback isn’t necessarily about fear. It’s about loss. They don’t know what’s coming next, and that makes them uncomfortable.
At the same time, they are losing what they do know. Changing too many things at one time can press your organization to disappointment (grief, anxiety, etc) at a rate they cannot absorb. In other words, unless the organization is sinking fast and intensely, change is the only way to save the ship. Pace yourself and implement changes at a rate that allows your team to adapt and embrace it before diving into the next thing.
As a leader, you are making decisions based on what’s best for the company as a whole for the long-term. There’s a pretty good chance that these changes disrupt someone. As noted above, there will be those who are uncomfortable with the losses associated with change. There will be some that may have to adapt more than others.
Whether it’s restructuring your workforce or pressing your teams to learn new skills, change processes, and pivot away from the familiar, there will be some that feel left behind or more deeply impacted by the shift. If everyone is happy, you’ve likely avoided the hard choice. If no one is disappointed, you’re probably hugging tighter to the status quo than you realize. Hard choices disrupt.
Yet, if your team is in a perpetual state of disappointment and uncertainty, you may be moving too fast. Running too fast in the right direction can be as destructive as not making the right changes at all. In this way, great leadership is a lot like great barbecue. Great barbecue starts with selecting the right piece of meat, rubs, and marinades; these are like the decisions you’ll make as a leader.
The real key to a great plate of ribs or brisket, however, is what comes next. The secret that sets decent barbecue apart from amazing barbecue is how the meat is cooked. The best plate comes from slow cooking at low temperatures. This method of low and slow breaks down the tough tendons for a juicy, tender meal.
Remember that quote from the start? “Leadership is disappointing people at a rate they can absorb.” Just like cooking low and slow, you need to create the right conditions for your team to absorb change successfully.
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